How we talk can change the way we work - why to read Kegan and Lahey's book

Book review for Major Projects Knowledge Hub: 5th November 2019

Kegan, R and Lahey, L, L. (2001), How the Way we Talk can Change the Way we Work: Seven Languages for Transformation, Jossey-Bass, CA.

My first choice for a recommended book for major project professionals is Robert Kegan and Lisa Laskow Lahey’s book on seven languages for transformation. The title is a classic ‘does what it says on the cover’. The book provides inspiration and instruction to help us understand ‘how we talk’ and how that impacts on ‘the way we work’ and (crucially) the impact we have on others when we are trying to lead complex, project-based endeavours.

I have worked with this book many times over the years, but it is definitely one of those books that I see as a companion to my professional life, rather than a ‘read that, very good, move on’ type of thing.  I find it’s a book that is worth reading through once to expose the overall ideas and then one of those ‘old friends’ that you pick up and just choose a chapter, or a section and really think about how to applies.  You’ll have your own place for reading in this way I’m sure – mine’s the bath!

So, why might you take my advice and invest in this?

If you’re reading this review you’ll be interested in major projects and how to be more effective. The biggest barrier we face to being effective is our internal conversation and the hurdles we consciously or subconsciously put in our own way. Four of the ‘ways we talk’ are vital for our own effectiveness and sanity, for example – how we move from ‘the language of compliance to the language of commitment’.  I saw amazing results in safety leadership in one of my previous jobs when our team made that change.

If you’re working in major projects you’ll also be working with, or trying to influence, lots of other people who the organization want to do things differently to the way they do them now.  Three of the ‘ways we talk’ are about how we can change to get the best out of others, for example – how we move from ‘the language of rules and policies to the language of public agreement’. 

The advice in the book is immediately recognisable – ‘oh yes, I can see that this is important’ stuff, but also really challenging (or it has been for me) as I go from ‘of course I do that all the time’, to realising that maybe I don’t.

I tried to listen to the authors read this as an audio book. They are American. It might work for you? 

I found the spoken voice to be a blocker for me really listening to the brilliant content so I have stuck with the written word. Every time I return to it, I realise that I have much to learn and improve but small changes, put into practice with sincerity, I have experienced can make a huge difference.  

The authors have written another great book since the one I am recommending - Immunity to Change: how to overcome it and unlock potential in yourself and your organization (2009).  But I’d recommend you don’t start there but go to the 2001 book and make sure you have the foundations in place.